Coffee and cake (*vegan apple slice) at Pot Coffee Black Manchester |
Morning everyone! How are you on this merry Monday? Too cheery? Ok, sorry, I will dial it back a little bit! I can't help it though! I feel like the I'm going through one of those phases where the Universe and I are on completely the same page, and things are about to get super busy, but hopefully also be very exciting, but a bit more about that later in the week. Instead today I want to talk about something I've been doing lately which I really feel has contributed in a big way to this positive wave I'm currently experiencing.
After making my 'direction goals' in Edinburgh last month, I did have a bit of a panic about just exactly how I was going to achieve those things and then a very scary to do list began to form, and then for a week or so I was suspended in a state of fear.
When we look at what we want in life, it is very easy to get sidetracked by how we get there. To talk ourselves down from a goal because we're, either, not sure which steps too take, or, we can see the steps, but there are hundreds of them, and the climb looks far too steep. When this fear and doubt creeps in we begin to question if the end goal is really what we want, because that fear has convinced us that we don't want to do the work. This in 95% of cases probably isn't the case, we want to do the work, we're just doubting that we can do the work.
This is exactly what happened to me, I began to wonder if I really wanted to be taking on extra freelance work, that while it would creatively satisfy me, would ultimately be more work. Wouldn't it be easier to just stick with the day job, I am lucky enough to love? I began to wonder if I really loved and wanted to be performing? Was I even any good at performing? And if I'm not good at something, why would I want to do it?
I decided I needed to stop thinking about how I was going to get there, and instead focus on what I wanted it to look like when I do get there.
On one particularly slow train to Manchester I decided to switch off my music, and my internet connection, and get out my notebook, like I used to do on my old York to Manchester commutes, and to write down what the person I want to be, and the life she is living, looks like.
I wrote down every single detail I could imagine, from what I would do in the morning, to the type of thing I would wear. What I would be feeling and where these feelings would come from. What would I be doing at work and what would I be eating at lunch. A bit like I said about using pinterest on Friday, I visualised the life that I want to lead.
It felt good to get it all down, regardless of how embarrassing or cliched some of those things may sound. When I read it back I don't cringe (much) instead I think yes, I want that life.
And I do read that list of "whats" back, not every day, but whenever I feel like I am lacking in motivation, not because it helps me to come up with a to-do list as long as my arm, or necessarily makes it any clearer about how exactly I am going to get there, but because by holding that version of myself and my life in my head, I naturally begin to move towards it.
If I imagine myself as being the type of person that gets up in that bit earlier in the morning, if I can see that version of myself so clearly, as not just being a future me, but being part of the me that I already am, then I'm not half as tempted to sleep in on a morning. If I know that what I want to do is be on stage more, then when opportunities come up, then I know I want to say yes to them. If I know that what I want is to write more, then Netflix, gets switched off and my notepad, and that terrfiyingly blank screen comes out.
Except that blank screen isn't terrifying any more, because I'm not worried about how I am going to fill it, I am excited about what I want to fill it with.
Sometimes to reach our goals we need to take action, make a plan, a to do list and put our best foot forward, but the best way to find the motivation to take that next step is to know clearly, that you want to go down that path, even if you come across obstacles, that at the moment you don't know how to get around, over or through them.
The 'hows' can be overwhelming but the 'whats' can be twice as motivating.
I hope this all made sense, and even helps a little this Monday morning. What do you think? Is just focusing on the what a bit too dreamy for you or do you find it as motivating as I do?
I hope this all made sense, and even helps a little this Monday morning. What do you think? Is just focusing on the what a bit too dreamy for you or do you find it as motivating as I do?
Live life & focus on what you want x
ps. Would you be interested in reading exactly what my 'what' looks like? Let me know in the comments, and I might post it next week!
pps. if you are looking for a little further reading, then I've been dipping in and out of 'You'll See it When you Believe It' since January, it's a bit out there in places, but the mentality behind it really rings true with me, and for a little further listening The Being Boss Podcast about setting Goals, also talks about focusing on your what a bit more x
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