Happy Monday everyone! How are you? It's my first day back at work today after my holiday so today's post will be short and sweet.
Coming back off holiday, naturally came with its own bout of holiday blues. I'm not somebody who dreads my 'real life' while Mondays are difficult, I don't hate them, but since landing back on damp UK soil I have felt a certain amount of dread when faced with reality.
The main source of this dread comes from my bank balance. I struggle with money more than I like to admit (but something I'm thinking of doing in a post of it's own) and having recently been to a wedding, and going on holiday, my finances are even worse shape than normal. Money keeps me up at night, I have a spreadsheet where things are meticulously recorded but somehow I still never feel in control of it. There is always an unexpected bill or a hiccup or event that throws me for 6 (or 60, or 600).
Then there's work itself. I've blogged once or twice about circumstances at work that have been out of my control this year, and those are still on going while I wait for bids and funding to be confirmed. So already there was an element of 'out of my control' already on my plate, but the week before I went on holiday I started a new project. Of course part of me is over the moon about this because it helps with that security I'm desperately seeking, but starting a new project and just days later going on holiday isn't exactly ideal! Part of me was terrified of coming back to workand being faced with an inbox out of control.
Then there's my freelance work, which I was glad to take a break from, but now I have to get back into it, and that too feels a little daunting as I take on the biggest and most difficult part of the project. Not only that but timing moving as quick as it des mean that I'm only a matter of weeks away from taking on more freelance work and that again feels daunting.
So safe to say, while I don't hate Monday mornings, this one had me feeling over whelmed. I felt like I was playing catch up before I'd even begun. My walk to work only takes 10 minutes and I usually like to walk in silence. No music no headphones, just me and my thoughts. But this morning my thoughts weren't my friends, and I didn't want to fall into the trap of predetermining the day for myself, so I stuck my ear phones in and switched on Ktie Dalebout and The Wellness Wonderland podcast.
You know when you listen to something and it is exactly what you need to hear at that moment? That.
Katie was talking about things she's learnt about life, career and family, and her message throughout my ten minutes of listening was that you are in control, even when it doesn't feel like it.
I am in control of my money, and my inbox and my freelance work. Just because they aren't quite where or how I would like them to be, I have the power to change that. It might not be instant, it might take time, and hard work, and there might be times where I still feel over whelmed, but I am not powerless.
Admitting you're overwhelmed is an ok thing to do, but don't count yourself out. Don't throw your hands up and say 'it's out of my control' because taking control might not be easy, but it is empowering.
I know that ten minutes of listening probably saved my mood and my productivity for today, and I know in the long run knowing that I have control will save my bank balance and keep me going where I want to be.
So if like me you're feeling overhwlemed, or daunted by a to-do list or by how much or how little is in your purse, then remember you are in control, and you can change your own circumstances. You are in charge, so go be the boss x
ps. Liked this post or know someone who might need to hear this? I'd be so grateful if you gave it a share!
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