Lessons in toughening up

I'm not a very tough person.

People who know me very well may disagree with that. Sure I've had a couple of setbacks and always pushed through but on a day to day basis I don't feel tough.

I let things get to me. Part of that is tied up with my anxiety and that is something I have to recognise and handle, and part of it is just my nature.

I like people to like me and I always look for the best in people.

So when people don't like me or don't live up to the 'best' that I saw in them I take it pretty hard.

You'd think at 27 some of these lessons would have started to sink in by now. That not everyone will like you, that some people will let you down, and that some people for whatever reason (and I still like to think people have their reasons) can be plain nasty. But they seem to have been like water off a ducks back.

Have I boxed myself in?

Good morning folks, how was your weekend? Mine was over in a flash, as they always are after a week that seems to take three months to get from Monday to Friday. But let's try not to lament too much on that fact.

I've been thinking a lot about work lately - I'd go so far as to say I've been obsessing over it. And not just in my usual 'I mustn't forget to do this tomorrow' way. In a 'bigger picture/what happens next' kind of way. Why? Because the funding for my current project is coming to an end, and as it currently stands, there's no guarantee that more funding will come.

'But wait Stephie? Didn't you say that just 6 months ago? And 6 months before that? And 6 months before that too?' 

You're right, I did. Welcome folks, to working in the arts. 

I know fine well, that funding dependent positions are not unique to the arts, and job uncertainty is a horrible truth about work in the modern world, but for the sake of this post I'm going to focus on the arts and the position I'm currently in.

Appreciating Your Own Expertise...

Hey everyone, I'm not sure when I will publish this post, as it is entirely unplanned, so apologies for the blunt/out of date introduction.

As I'm typing this it is 10 to 9 on a Wednesday evening. I woke up this morning puffy-eyed and exhausted, and the last thing I expected to be doing at this time when I first dragged myself out of bed this morning was sitting down to type a blog post. But then the best blog posts, quite often like the best nights out are unplanned and the words flow like shots at the student union (do the youth still drink shots?).

I woke up this morning, physically and mentally exhausted. I'm currently living above the neighbour from hell, and last night I had a bit of a freak out about my career and where it was heading so you could say I wasn't really ready to face a day of work, followed by an evening running a freelance workshop.

And yet here I am feeling inspired. So how come this day turned out so dramatically different from what was expected?

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