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no longer a negative Nancy...

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Hello lovely ones! How on earth are you? The weeks speeding by are really beginning to scare me now. It seems no sooner do I hit publish on my Morning Monday post, and bam, it's Wednesday and here I am again! Not that blogging is the issue, but when you have a hobby, that schedules your life in such a way, it soon becomes very apparent just how time is flying!

However, panicking or moaning about the passage of time, is the exact opposite of what I actually want to chat to you about today. The fact is a lot of time has passed since Christmas, and in many ways I couldn't be happier to have put that big old chunk of days and months between where I was then and where I am now. As I sit here in my living room, cross legged on the floor, I'm pretty sure if you put a mirror in front of me, and showed me a reflection of who I was in December, I wouldn't recognise myself.

Does that sound a little far out? Maybe it is.

A friend the other day said I'd always had it in me to become a bit of a hippy arty type, and that it is finally happening. Well if that is the case so be it, because I'd far rather be the hippy peaceful positive type than the negative Nancy I had become.

I'm still a little cynical and sarcastic sometimes, and I still have my wobbly days. Hec just last night I caught myself crying, convinced I would die alone. I'm not afraid to admit that to you. I'm not afraid to admit to you, that I can feel a dip in my self esteem just at present, and I'm not afraid to admit that I'm human, but it does scare me that for a while that looked like becoming a way of life for me.

I don't want to be a negative person. I've met negative people, I know negative people, and when I am around them I can feel my energy levels drop. I feel myself pulled in to their vision of the world, and very quickly everything seems a little harder. It's not up to me to change these people, but it is up to me how much power their negativity has over me, and the power I let my own negative thoughts have too.

So what changes have I made this year? I've changed big things like my diet, and I've changed my routines. I've changed little things like how my furniture is arranged, or where I sit and read on an evening. I've changed my hair once or twice and I've changed outfits daily. But the biggest change I've made, the one which has made all these other changes have any impact at all on me, while it may sound by far the most complicated is actually deceivingly simple.

I've changed my outlook.

And all that change really boils down to is this: Every time I think, say or hear something negative, I counteract it with something positive. And I've applied this rule, not only to the way I think about myself and others, but to conversations I have with other people, my work and well, everything.

There's an awful lot of psychology and philosophy literature out there that will tell you all about the magical powers of positivity and what it does to our happiness levels. I've read some of it, and some of it was even a little too out there for me but the simplest way I have found of thinking about it, is that ending a conversation or a stream of thoughts on a positive note, has the same effect on your mood, as the ending of a film might.

If a film has a positive uplifting ending, we feel happy, if a film has a defeated, tragic and negative ending, then you're probably going to go home, feeling a little haunted and in need of a hug. And while the later, has it's own merits, reminds us to be grateful of the good in the world, I'd know that on balance, I'd rather have more happy endings than sad ones.

So if I'm stood in a fitting room about to go into melt down because something doesn't fit I focus on something else, how nice is the colour on me? What about the neck line? If I'm Facebook stalking somebody I shouldn't be, and my immediate reaction is to say something nasty, I stop myself, and say something nice instead. Or at least if I don't quite manage to stop myself (sometimes, I'm just too quick witted for my own good) I ask myself why I feel the need to make that comment. Does it make me happier? Or will saying something nice, taking a deep breath and shutting down the laptop ultimately mean the rest of my day can carry on in a better light? And if somebody else is making a negative comment about themselves or somebody else, then I step in with my positive vibes too.

Even if that does make me a arty-zen-like-hippy, at least I'm a happy one, and hopefully, once people get past the slightly 'far out' attitude, eventually positivity will make me the type of person people want to have hanging around.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to meditate, sing with the birds, and not wear shoes.*

Live life & end on a positive note x

*I am learning to meditate, I still can't sing, and while my feet aren't the nicest things you'll ever see, shoes are too pretty to give up anyway.

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19 comments

  1. I love this post :) I much prefer to have a positive outlook on life - although perhaps telling my moaning housemate that I 'enjoy' walking home in the rain was a step too far haha! Yesterday someone made a comment to me that had a bit of constructive criticism and a whopping great compliment. For a couple of hours I really dwelled on the negative and had almost brushed aside the compliment. Then suddenly I realised that was making me feel rubbish and spent the rest of the day repeating the compliment to myself. A positive attitude is so important for happiness!
    Jennifer x
    Ginevrella | Lifestyle Blog

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  2. I want to be more like you in being positive. I get sucked into a vortex of worry sometimes. x

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  3. This is such a lovely post! I'm not the most negative person, but I do wish I could be more positive. Positivity is definitely so much nicer than negativity, and you've really inspired me to make this day a positive one.

    xx Mimmi, Muted Mornings

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  4. What a perfectly uplifting and positive post to read on a sunny Wednesday morning! I swear by the power of positivity and the effect it can have on our lives, and I'm so happy that the positive vibes are working for you! xxx

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  5. Loved this post :) I went through a long distance breakup last year because of uni (that went on and on because he kept being very ambiguous about his feelings for me) and it put me into such a bad place, especially when I found out he'd got a new girlfriend literally only a few days after he'd message and flirted with me on Valentines. He then ended up messaging and flirting with me claiming it wasn't cheating, and bam I realised that he was nothing like the guy I thought he was. It's crazy because I've gone from being in the worst place in my life to being and feeling very positive. That's probably TMI but the point is, taking a positive mindset and recognising the negative people in your life aren't worth your time, makes such a difference :)

    vvnightingale.blogspot.co.uk

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  6. Thanks for the inspiring read, Stephie! I used to be a negative Nancy and I stopped. Now that things don't go as plan, it is easy to go back to those bad habits! I know I have to start meditating!

    MsBubu

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  7. Loved this post!

    You're absolutely radiating positivity sweet :) such a great post to read. It's immediately put me in a better mood to deal with Hump Day!

    I can't wait to see what comes your way this year :) karma must have some good tings coming for you! xx

    Little Miss Katy | UK Lifestyle Blog

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  8. Honestly Jennifer, I love running in the rain! As long as it isn't too cold. When I was in Milan last year it was really mild weather, but one evening it began chucking it down, but I decided to walk back to my hostel anyway. The waiter at the restaurant I had been sat in genuinely yelled at me for being crazy!

    Congratulations on the compliment, I have no doubt you deserved it. If you didn't they wouldn't have bothered with the piece of constructive criticism, this person clearly thinks you're worth investing advice into so go you! xx

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  9. I am honestly a huge worrier, like I said in this post I am still a human, and sometimes a pretty broken one, but it is just about noticing those habbits, and taking control of them xx

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  10. Today's sunshine, honestly perfectly reflects my outlook right now! It obviously makes going for a run so much easier too xxx

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  11. No that is definitely not too much information. You're totally right, sometimes, the hardest thing to realise is that the person you long to be the biggest positive in your life, is actually the biggest negative influence. So glad you've come out of it a happier stronger person xx

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  12. We are all human, and those habbits are ingrained in us, but the bad highlights the good! xx

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  13. I really hope the universe is building something up! I do feel a little bit like I'm on the edge of something! Glad you liked the post, hope the hum day wasn't too much of an uphill trek for you xx

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  14. You can only take each day at a time, yesterday for me was actually incredibly negative, but instead of going to bed with tears in my eyes, I washed my face, took 10 minutes out and made sure that everything was in order for me to wake up to a positive Wednesday xx

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  15. Ending on a positive note is a good idea. Much easier than just trying to be positive 100% of the time (which is doomed to fail anyway!).

    Also, I'm with you on the passing of time. How is it April next week?!

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  16. Such a wonderfully uplifting post. I'm currently learning Mindfulness, which is centred around positivity and being in the present. It's hard but I'm getting there. Good luck on your journey too xx

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  17. […] over at Tea In Your Twenties talks about combating being a negative Nancy, I need to try that out for […]

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  18. Exactly, everyone is a work in progress, and we all have to admit that that nobody is perfect, and sometimes life is HARD, it's ok to admit that, it makes the good times even better xx

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  19. I am slowly making my way though 'You'll see it when you believe it' which draws on mindfulness, and it can be a bit tough going, especially if you aren't in the right head space but it is fascinating, and it is definitely changing my perspective xx

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