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the bloggers food diary: lessons to be learnt...

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Good morning everyone, how are you?

No guest post again this week, and if I am being honest this is a post I should have sat down to last week, but wasn't in the right frame of mind for it and so I put it off until now.

First of all I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has posted as part of this project so far. The stories have been amazing, inspirational and above all else reassuringly healthy and happy.

The Bloggers Food Diary isn't going anywhere and if you would like to get involved you can email me on stephanieclaire@teacuptheatre.com. I want to keep this project alive and present, if there is one thing I have learnt over the past two months (whoa!) it is that these conversations still need to happen and that even the most resiliant of us need supporting and reminding that our bodies are amazing.

And there are so many things I have learnt whilst hosting this project.

The thing I have been happiest to discover is that more and more people are shunning quick-fix and dangerous diets. Every post I've featured has championed long lasting life style changes without denying yourself a treat every now and then. I genuinely believe the healthier you are, and the healthier you're outlook is the happier you are.

Something else that has come to light for me is that the age old 'everybody has been there' mantra has never been more apt than when it is applied to our body image. I look at the beautiful women that have posted for me here, and those that are posting similarly else where in the blogosphere, and sit in shock that they would, for one second, think they were anything less than perfect looking.

But that brings me on to something else. The something that put me off writing this post last week. Something I have learnt about myself.

I'm not very good at learning these lessons and applying them to myself.

I started the food diary to promote all the wonderful things I've already spoken about here. Mainly health and happiness when it comes to our body and their accompanying image, but in the past two months I have been my most vulnerable, upset, unhealthy and cruel to myself than I have ever been ever before.

I've also learnt that I can be obsessive, and that threatened to define me.

I've calorie counted, gone through periods of making myself run everyday only to then flip and sit on the couch eating peanut butter out of the jar and hating myself for it. For getting to this point. For getting 'fat.'

I'm not fat and I'm definitely not that girl.

Here is the thing, when all you can think about, all the time, is food and your waist line, your vision quickly becomes clouded, and you switch from one extreme to the other. Even if you're not hungry you're thinking about what you're going to have for lunch, and about all the things you shouldn't have, can't have, definitely won't have, probably didn't even want but now crave for, go to the shop for, chide yourself for.

It is exhausting and dangerous, and recently set alarm bells ringing for me.

I wouldn't cal it an eating disorder, but it was definitely a disorderly attitude towards eating, and could have escalated into something. I've never been a believer in fad diets or calorie counting but suddenly it was very easy to understand how those things are so prominent in our society, so addictive.

So I learnt another lesson, that there will always be not only new lessons to learn, but also old ones that you've forgotten.

I figured it's about time I gave myself a break and went back through these posts and practiced what I, and so many other amazing bloggers have preached.

Live life & listen out for those alarm bells x

6 comments

  1. Oh Stephie!

    I'm so glad that doing this project has inspired you. It's a wonderful idea and you're doing so well with it. The fact that it's inspiring you means it's working!

    I know exactly what you mean though - when all you can think about it food, it's like it's always there isn't it? Always even in the back of your mind and the funny thing is, it's not even worth it.

    Please don't stress too much about it - your blog posts are always so positive! Keep doing what you're doing and you'll be fine :)

    Plus, have you SEEn yourself in that photo? You're lovely!

    Holly xx

    http://abranchofholly.blogspot.co.uk/

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  2. Thank you so much Holly!

    I guess I use this space as my little spot of therapy and I always hope when I am posting that 'girls like me' will read it and 'get it' so of course it has been amazing to read other people's posts here. Because I do, really, really 'get it!'

    It is also amazing how easy it is to fall into stress, but how easily I have found it to let it go. I guess I just got to that point where I'd had enough of the negativity!

    Thank you as always for reading, and for the huge part you've played in this project! I need to find more lovely ladies, and guys to get involved xx

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  3. I'm so glad that this project has had such a positive impact on you - love your blog and will definitely keep reading.

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  4. I think your series is a really great idea and this post alone, highlights why we all need to stop harbouring these guilt ridden feelings of inadequacy and step away from the biscuit tin we're tucking into in dark crevices, when no one's around. I think for the most part, we all possess the ability to a) be self-critical and b) fall into obsessive habits/thinking. Combined, these two are lethal weapons! The more openly we discuss how we're feeling, the more perspective we gain at times when we're vulnerable and likely to fall into a little hole of negativity and the more likely we are to stop it in its tracks before it causes any damage.

    I don't need to tell you that you're perfect, just as you are, but in case you ever forget...xx

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  5. Thank you Alix. I always underestimate my own human capacity for extremes. It is at times like when I wrote this post, that I remember how fragile we all are. Not to get too deep but it does make me wonder if society has evolved too quickly for us to keep up with. It isn't too long since we worked on survival instincts now we so heavily rely on emotional survival instincts, and I'm just not sure they are quite as developed! Maybe we all need to take a break, everyone is doing the best they can in their own complicated ways xx

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