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Shame/full

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In my last week of waitressing three elderly ladies came into the restaurant. They were catching up over lunch, in the same way that me and any of my friends would do. When they had finished their mains the usual coy, pretending to not want a desert  conversation occurred...



Doubtless you know the one, it normally involves at least two of the following...
Oh I couldn't possibly...
Maybe just a look...
I will have something if you're having one...
Maybe we could share...
I really shouldn't...
Maybe I will get the [insert calorific pud here] but without the [insert ice cream/custard/other delicious accompaniment sent by the devil to tempt us here]...

I know I have taken part in this conversation, probably somewhere near a million times. And I will put my hand on my heart and say, that every single time my mouth has come out with one of the above statements, the voice inside my head has been screaming "DAMM IT I WANT MY CAKE."

But what really surprised me about these old ladies who lunched, was that even though they had all gone with a pudding in the end, they then proceeded to call each other out on whose desert was biggest. Then one of them said...

I can't believe you have eaten ALL of that...

In that moment, the old lady who had dared to eat all her pudding looked as insecure as any teenage girl. Embarrassed, insecure and wondering what it meant about her, what it meant her friends thought of her.

I could practically see the words "it's OK I just won't eat again today" cross her mind.

Other people talking about their weight, or dieting or casually pointing out what I'm eating has always made me uncomfortable. A "I thought you were dieting" is enough to mentally chide myself for daring to eat.

Luckily for me these thoughts don't last long, and while I have my insecurities like everyone else, I'm confident and aware enough to know that these barbed comments aren't a real voice of concern about my health, but come from the speakers own insecurities, or at least the mass belief that we should all be flat tummied size 6 goddesses.

I don't believe that old ladies friends thought for one minute that there was anything wrong with their friends looks, weight, or the fact that she ate all her dessert. If anything I think these comments come when we suddenly realise that, actually, ordering a pudding and enjoying it doesn't make you instantly hideous.

There is no shame in eating until you are full, but it is shameful to make some one feel like there is.

I'm the first person at a table to crack if actually I do want dessert, but from now on I'm going to avoid the whole "oh I shouldn't" tango. Because I'm OK with my body and I don't have a single friend that I think doesn't deserve a pudding now and then.

Ice cream, chocolate sauce and the cherry on top.

Live life & eat cake x

Ps. I also think it is equally as bad to try and force some one who doesn't want a cake to have one, just so you feel less guilty!

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